Monday, December 16, 2019

Dunwoody Grinch Council

The City of Dunwoody can't say the C word, but has no problem being The Grinch.




The Dunwoody City Council has halted all development in Dunwoody Village for up to six months, allowing the new council to decide what property owners can and cannot do with their properties.  Property owner MUST continue to pay all taxes on property during the moratorium, despite being barred from bringing in new tenants.

The moratorium is put in place to force property owners to do what the city wants them to do.  The free market has no say for development in the Village area apparently. Moratoriums are put in place to reach a predetermined end.  Predetermined by the government.  And in this case, that government is the new city council.  Expect many many apartments in Dunwoody Village in this next LandUse plan.  Of course these apartments won't have kids and won't affect traffic. 

This is the opposite of the city's last moratorium when the city stopped apartments under the disguise of safety. 

Dunwoody Village 2025

I've attended many meetings over the years here in Dunwoody.  The city hires consultants to meet with us and tell us what we need/want.  It's even better when said consultants are MASSholes from up north.  These consultants deploy the Delphi (effect) method whereas they have the end result of the meetings and surveys already sealed in an envelope, ready to hand over to council and the city manager when they get their payment.

Here is a link to the Land Use Master Plans on Dunwoody's web site. We have/had a plan.  If that Plan failed, will the next one as well?  Will we have a new Master Plan after every election?  Was the moratorium put in place simply because elected officials want to control the new plan?

Very little notice was given on this newly enacted moratorium.  Hopefully this is not the new M.O. for city council.  Where is the Perimeter Chamber on this? No mention of the moratorium on their web site or Twitter.  The Chamber usually feels a thrill going up its leg when Council talks.  And the topic was not mentioned at the December DHA meeting.

If the newly elected council believes there is an emergency in the Village, it is much faster (than six months) to make amendments to current zoning.  

For those looking for something to go in at the former Burger King location or at the old Texaco / steam car wash, forget it.  This action stops all activity in the Village.  Unless a permit has been applied for, you will NOT see anything new for close to a year.  See HERE for details

the Mayor and Council believe that it is in the best interest of the City that a temporary moratorium be enacted regarding the Village Overlay Area to prohibit the filing of any new Applications for Special Use Approval, Permitted Use Approval, or Building, Land Disturbance, Site Plan and Design Review, or other Permits such moratorium will allow the City the opportunity to move the Village Overlay Amendment through the zoning process to receive public input and for the City council to consider the Village Overlay Amendment for adoption; and WHEREAS, it is determined that a temporary moratorium of 180 (one hundred-eighty) days is the minimum time necessary to allow for a full evaluation of the Village Overlay Amendment via the zoning process and potential adoption by the City; 

NOW, THEREFORE, BE IT RESOLVED BY THE MAYOR AND COUNCIL OF THE CITY OF DUNWOODY, GEORGIA:  During the moratorium neither the City nor any of its departments or staff shall accept, process or review new or revised applications for Applications for Special Use Approval, Permitted Use Approval, or Building, Land Disturbance, Site Plan and Design Review, or other Permits within the Village Overlay Area;

Yet Another Anti-Vandy Map in Dunwoody

In what seems to be an ongoing theme here in Dunwoody, yet another map (see here)dissing the Vandy Posse has appeared.  A local duo has thrown gasoline on the fire by creating a Christmas and Hanukkah Decorations Map that excludes and detours the new Vanderlyn district.  And Captain Kingsley will not like this map either as Kingsley is completely ignored. Both school PACs have submitted letters of protest to Dan Drake and demanding to know why no houses in their attendance zones were on the map.  "We bought this house because of the 12:12 pitched roof line.You know how awesome ice-cycle lights look on a 45 degree roof?  Apparently not!" exclaimed a local FaceBook contributor.

A local realtor shared his opinion on the matter. "Life is NOT good when your area is not on the official Decorations Map.  People bought homes thinking we'd be on that map forever.  We've always controlled that map, and now we don't.  We mad!"

An open records request revealed our local school board rep intentionally reduced the power to the electrical grid to certain school areas.  "He had a cap put on the amount of juice running into our house.  How the hell am I supposed to keep my Mickey Mouse and Friends inflatables up all night on 20 kWh per day?  I'll tell you; you can't do it!" a local father posted on NextDoor.  




At quick glance, it's easy to see these maps heavily favor the Austin district, and we can't fault others for being mad.  This elementary school stuff has hit a new low.  

"The biggest issue is there are no multi-family lights highlighted on any of these maps.  You'd be surprised how creative people can be with just one string of lights on a 2nd floor balcony," shrieked a mom as she loaded her groceries into her Subaru hatchback.

And that's not all.  Not one mention of Oxford Chase lights.  "Even though you can't turn left after viewing the holiday lights in our neighborhood, we do get a lot of people driving through.  We know some of those people are just lost, but they do make the loop anyways," stated the OxChase HOA spokesperson.

Sunday, December 8, 2019

Dunwoody Useful Phone Apps

The City of Dunwoody has launched its new New iphone Mobile Background Yearly (NiMBY) just in time for the holidays late December.  The $84,000 project by CivicsMoxy, a Boston firm that tells southern towns what they don't know.  



RoadWork - keep informed on the progress of the Mt Vernon Road / Vermack intersection.  After screwing it up a few times and adding a telephone line pool in the middle of the intersection, the new end date is March 9th, 2022.

Anti-4th - Be aware of those "safety" roadblocks police checks in north Dunwoody.  These pop up once in a while to keep a Dunwoody judge happy.  It's not fair to have these events only in high-crime areas.  

Fake Ice Finder - this is a seasonal app, usually active around Christmas late December.  Don't confuse this app with its sister, Real Ice Finder.  Nothing sounds more like a winter wonderland than skates on a large kitchen cutting board.

Not Your Field - widely popular with baseball teens (only those who identify with He/Him) in surrounding cities.  Not popular in Dunwoody.  Find out when kids from Chamblee, Norcross, Atlanta, Brookhaven, Smyrna, and more are using the Dunwoody taxpayer built fields at Peachtree Middle Prison School.  The app cost only $100 to create, compared to $4 million of Dunwoody taxpayer money spent on fields for girls boys.

Elementary - the most popular app!  Turn on Location Services on your iphone and always know what elementary school attendance zone you are in.  Accurate from Oxford Chase to Bldg 4 at The Lacota.  Great for real estate agents.  Features include hidden trails showing how to walk to Austin from DCFW,  how to get more volunteer hours from those pesky apartment parents, and even tells you what's on the school lunch menu

LostCat - self explaining here.  Help reunite Winnie, Lebron, and others with their owners.  Use this app with CoyoteFinder for the best and worst of the animal kingom.  This same developer is working on Deer-App.  This app will allow you to hire a bow hunter, recipes for backstrap, find fresh road kill, and alert others that a deer ran in front of your car.

Bank - find a bank in Dunwoody

Trash - perfect for the person who has resided in DeKalb for 10 years and still doesn't understand that a holiday means your trash day gets pushed back one full day

Triggered - use this app to report nativity scenes, Menorahs, Santa,  and other religious items you just don't want to look at.

Chef Driven - this app really never worked as initially designed because the chef-driven crap was always a false narrative for Dunwoody Green.  The app now redirects you to Canton Street and Chamblee eateries. No updates planned to this app until 2023 elections.

PublicNoWork - email Dunwoody public works when you see something that needs fixed.  Then delete the app because they will ignore you.

WaterBreak - perfect for reporting waterline breaks on Chamblee Dunwoody Road and elsewhere.  One bonus feature is that it reminds you not to drink the water if the water coming out of your spigot is brown and smells really bad.  Very popular with people using the Trash app

Farmhouse - the first app ever for Dunwoody.  Developed in 1874, long before people even knew what an app was.  Click it and hear old recordings from Nelly Chesnut, Grandma Redfield, Uncle Charlie from the Bannister app, and more.  A hidden button on the app lets you hear "Dinky" and "Old Buck" blow their train whistle to alert Major Dunwoody that a fresh train-car of moonshine and produce was headed into town.

ParkTool School - this app helps your student find a parking spot on a neighborhood (PUBLIC) street.  Has an alarm feature to wake your kid up at 5 AM to get a move on it to the spot!  A newly added feature now helps your kid find a seat in the cafeteria.  

Alarm - Tired of the same old annoying phone alarm?  Now get an early wake up call from Nixel.  Custom messages can warn you when rain is approaching (up to 72 hours in advance), or when the temperature dips below 40 degrees.  

SeeClickSuckIt - Dunwoody's most useless app ever.  See a problem on the road or sidewalk?  Simply click it, and get a reply from the city telling you to suck it.  

Facebook birthdays - It's your birthday and nobody remembered?  Simply log on to Facebook and get a Happy Birthday greeting from local resident(s).  

NextDoor - the Mother of all neighbor apps.  Everything from free worthless giveaways (for people too lazy to use the Trash app), lost pets, reviews from contractors who went out of business five years ago, and warnings about strangers (Amazon delivery drivers) in your 'hood.  This app is a threat to LostCat, DeerFinder, CoyoteFinder, and other animal related apps. Ideal for widows over 85 years old, people with limited grammar skills, and guys who know everything in the world, except that they themselves are idiots.

Friday, December 6, 2019

The Viking Strikes Back

See End for Update

Ragnar is out and Lagertha is back in charge of the Vandy PAC.  Enough of the Tigers and Eagles flailing in air! No more Comets fizzling in the eastern sky. Lagertha has emerged from her stealth location buried deep beneath the 5th hole at DCC and is taking no prisoners, nor apartment kids.

Vandy PAC Chariwoman
Using sunstones and sundials passed down from Sigurd, the Norse mapmaker of the 13th century, the Vandy posse has employed Common Core math formulas to create a new map for their Dunwoody longphort.  The map reaffirms Vandy's guarded location in Kattegat.  In the process, Lagertha has banned non blue-eyed from the territory, citing lack of parental involvement in Viking activities.  It is rumored the Vikings also complained would-be immigrants to Kattegat would not bring the required treasures of gold, silver, rubies, silk, and Penicillin. 

Proposed Vandy Map 



The Common Core math calculating percentages detailing high-density housing is currently under review by the Austin Science Olympiad team for accuracy, but leaked results (Jefferson Apartments Snapchat) hint at altered numbers.  LifeinTheWoodVandy has hired outside firm apartments.com to audit the results as well.


There was no search and rescue letter sent to Drake when Oxford Chase was banned from Viking territory.  The Ox team was dismissed to the King and Lagertha didn't flinch an eye.  But when the fertile soil of The Forest was taken away, a call to arms was made.  Golf carts from all directions plowed their way to convene and channel their inner Odin for guidance.

Regarding 'closest school' rule we keep hearing about - half the kids in Dunwoody can claim Austin as their closest school.  Kids in south DeKalb travel up to eight (8) miles to elementary school while in da wood we argue 1.2 versus 1.5 miles.  You want to keep neighborhoods together, travel east to west (quickest way around inner Dunwoody)?  Here are your maps:




The Vikings will invade Monday's board meeting to protest the new map.  T-shirts are being printed at this moment, but I'm fairly sure the group will be easy to identify.







Monday, December 2, 2019

Dunwoody Afraid to Say the C Word?

Dunwoody city hall is closed Dec 24 and 25, but the city will not tell residents the reason for said closure.  

Perhaps the city has been infiltrated by Puritans.







See HERE the  OPM.GOV website listing official Federal holidays:

DateHoliday
Tuesday, January 1New Year’s Day
Monday, January 21Birthday of Martin Luther King, Jr.
Monday, February 18*Washington’s Birthday
Monday, May 27Memorial Day
Thursday, July 4Independence Day
Monday, September 2Labor Day
Monday, October 14Columbus Day
Monday, November 11Veterans Day
Thursday, November 28Thanksgiving Day
Wednesday, December 25Christmas Day


Sunday, December 1, 2019

Dunwoody Deer Fence

An alert reader sent us a note showing that the city and garden wants to spend $16,000 on a new deer-stopping fence for the community garden at Brook Run.  When first built, DunwoodyTalk donated the first fence (and we believe it is still there today).  Farmer Bob and Don C helped install it.  

Here's an article from the Crier HERE.

From the article:

Although the current fence bordering the garden covers roughly 700 feet, the installation technique and current state of repair hinders the fence from remaining a reliable protection source. 

“[The] Board of Directors is soliciting competing bids for an 8-foot replacement fence which would be professionally installed and have a life expectancy of at least 20 years,” said Stasia Kelly, DCGO spokeswoman for Community Outreach and Communications. “These estimates will not include charges for removing the old fence and posts, work that volunteers will be called upon to perform.”

Not from the article:

The original fence was installed at $0 cost to the city and seems to have lasted 10 years.  Not sure why "installation technique" is an issue.  Three guys had a ladder, a 5-pound hammer, and some long steel fence posts.  The posts were pounded into the hard clay.  No one from DT2 has been involved in the garden in years, so not sure 100% it's the original fence, but when we were at this summer's celebration of ten years, it appeared to be the same fence.  Not sure.  And the deer were not jumping over it.  The garden did expand after DT2 departure, so perhaps the fence addition was a shitty job. The city can't get a road paved correctly so let's see if they can get a $0 fence installed that will last ten years.  


And regarding these deer, the construction at Brook Run didn't suddenly cause the deer to migrate 50 yards to the garden.  The issue with the increase in deer in Dunwoody (and Brook Run) is due to several factors.  The GA 400 and 285 road construction has pushed dozens (perhaps 100) deer into Dunwoody neighborhoods and parks.  There are fewer bow hunters in Dunwoody than previous years.  Three active bow hunters take two years off from harvesting deer (does) in Dunwoody causes an increase of 50-75 more deer.  If there was no bow hunting in Dunwoody the situation would be even worse.  Deer are now eating plants that they avoided in years past due to the increased deer population.  More deer and the same food sources equals more destruction.  The fact that tree-huggers and anti-hunters won't accept is that an over-sized deer population is the worst thing for a forest.  The forests that people want to protect are at threat more from deer than anything else, including the alleged climate change.

Deer Destroying Forest see HERE  HERE and HERE

You want to help Brook Run and preserve the large tree stands in Dunwoody?  Want more song birds?  Then support a few days of closing Brook Run to thin the herd.  Bow hunting is safe and effective.  You want to preserve the natural habitat remaining in Dunwoody?  Then allow a bow hunter to use your property. Need a bow hunter?  email HERE

paths and plots created





Don and Rod




8' x 4' plywood used as a template 


The garden started where the old Brook Run sidewalk ended

Robert W and the late Adrian B

Rebecca

opening ceremony







Happy Birthday Dunwoody

Dunwoody turns 11 today.  Lots of great people made it happen, and lots of great people continue to make it happen. Much success to Lynn and the new council.Here are a few photos of the Open House from the first actual city hall.  When first starting, mayor and council met in Sandy Springs as they searched for a Dunwoody location.

Warren, first city manager














Saturday, November 30, 2019

Dunwoody Council Avoids Controversy, Appoints Committee

Buried in the details of Dunwoody's ban on everything is the mention of the Decorating Committee.  Not even our creative Cub Reporters can come up with such gold.

The council took the easy route on this decorating bit.  No courage to make decisions?  We elected council and mayor, not a decorating committee.  Why is council passing the buck on tough topics?




From The Crier (page 4)


But credit for such delegation of duty is not new to Dunwoody, and this decorating committee is not new.  Michael Scott had a wonderful Planning Decorating Committee, but not nearly as comical as our own.





How about an Un-Decorating Committee that drives around picking up all the illegal signs in the city?

And one final note on the topic; can someone from the city tell us what holiday is it that is the reason for city hall being closed December 24 and 25?  Words seem to fail the calendar entry.  Has the word 'Christmas' been banned from city staff vocabulary, or just Santa Clause?